Thursday, March 20, 2008

Moving On

I've been single for almost two months now. I'm still hurting - I've been through a lot of denial and disappointment. It took me a while to accept that my former relationship is over; the final straw was when I learned that I've already been replaced by another girl. Ok, this is it, I thought. There is absolutely nothing else to do but to turn around and start moving in the opposite direction.

I've discovered that my world is very, very small. Though my ex and I never became very close, he was always the first person whom I told about my day. I have few friends, and even fewer confidantes; when he left I lost one of my trusted friends. I was devastated, but I've begun to heal. The break up helped me realize a few things about myself and my life up to this point:

  • I have not been happy with myself and what I've accomplished; my lack of confidence has kept me from going after my dream of becoming a published writer, and I became dependent on my former relationship for personal fulfillment;
  • I am surrounded by wonderful people, especially my roommates at the boarding house who listened to me and comforted me whenever I was depressed about the break up and needed a sympathetic ear;
  • my mother has always known me best; though she had made me promise years ago not to have any relationships, when I finally confessed my troubles to her she received me with the love and compassion that only a mother can give; and,
  • I must be happy with myself and what I do before I can share that happiness with another person, and in order for a relationship to work the two people involved must have a genuine understanding of one another and be comfortable with one another no matter what.
I have resolved to live a fuller, happier life. I will put the pain behind me and actively pursue my dreams. I'll go out and make new friends; I'll expand my world. Then, when I have found myself and become content with who I am, I will be ready to meet the one with whom I can share my happiness.

Wish me luck :) (Sorry for the cheese, but writing this has helped me immensely. The pain continues to throb, but I can bear it. Hooray for me :D)


LJ said...

Two months is too long and too hard to carry this burden. Mabuti that you're moving on ('coz you need to). AND ayun nga, may mabuti namang palang naidulot sayo ang mga bagay-bagay (realizations). Basta dont lose focus on your dreams and dont be afraid to build and gain other people's trust.

Wala lang, masayang mabuhay!

**sorry to break the moment**
I love this blog.
Palagi akong nakakaencounter ng new words, hehe, or words na alam ko pero di ko ginagamit madalas.

Sj87 said...

Ano ba ito? half truth or 100% fiction?!

I am quite unsure about what I am thinking. Anyway, buti naman at may new post!

mAcaRoOns said...

sa wakas nagsimula na rin :)

kaya mu yan ^_^

Rich said...

Grabe, hindi ko ito alam.
Pero, ok yan, at least nasabi mo.

Naexcite ako kasi tnxt mo pa sa kin 'to, and now that i've read about it, I thought, Tina talaga!

Sige, expand your world!
Sa totoo lang, halos magkaproblema lang tau minus the lovelife.

And now, pareho tayong magkulay ng buhay! He he!

Go Tina! Magpakasaya tayo!